Here is the the thing, you always see me as your greatest enemy; your nemesis. Roughly I know when it began. Maybe it all started when I slapped you for the first time. But when I think of it lately with a clear head, the guilt wasn’t totally on me. Of course I am terribly sorry and regret that I did that. But it was because you slapped me too many times simply because ‘to make you feel better ’.
You always asked me to prove you about my love. I knew (as you told me zillion times too) that I hurt you. But with you slapped me just because I deserved them or because it was the only way to make you feel better, I was asking inside me, ‘so with this you, trying to telling me that you lovedme?’ It was wrong. But I let it happened a lot of times. I should’ve stopped you, but I preferred those slaps rather than losing you. And without me ever realized what was happening inside of me because we both were focusing on you, slowly it scarred my pride.
Oh yes, my pride. The pride you loathed the most. But lemme tell you, love, my pride is something I could never dismiss no matter how I hate myself for being filthy. I believe we all born with that. Even a son of a serial killer has a pride. As we both know, I would get a slap every time I raised my voice. I agreed on it. So every time I did and you slapped me, no pride involved there. But when you, all of a sudden decided to slap me just to make you feel better, that reached deep inside me that held my pride dearly. It got angry. Slowly. Unnoticed. Until I exploded and I slapped you in reply for all the silence I gave you when you slapped me for your own amusement. To make it clear, everything was on us both. On me for saying nothing when it all happened, and on you just because you slapped me to make you feel better. But did you? I doubt that, even now. The prove? You were still grudging for everything. So I saw all those slaps I received was for nothing.
Cunningly.Lost 