The morning came to visit early. The sun ray pierced through my window awakened me with a glorious bright light. I’ve lost my fever that morning. A bit light-headed I sat up in a room I didn’t recognize. It took me sometimes to realize that I was in my apartment. I survived hell alone. Great thing to start a day. It was Sunday. I got plenty time to kill with no idea of what to do came upon my brain. So I sat there at the edge of my bed recalling the nightmare. Then I remembered about my shadow. The sun casted my shadow to the wall behind me. I looked at it carefully trying to find some sign of malice from it. I couldn’t find any. It was my shadow alright. Could it be that I have hallucinated about it yesterday? Could the blizzard messed up my judgement? Well whichever it was, I got my shadow back and nothing could go wrong in this amazing morning. I wouldn’t let anything ruin it. Nothing except that blasting stereo playing some sort of hip-hop song from my vigorous neighbor.

Even I felt awesome that morning, I couldn’t shake the weird feeling of my nightmare as if part of me believe that to some extent that the dream was real. What was that all about? Where did such imagination came from? They said our dreams came from the thoughts we had before we go to bed. But I was sure that I wasn’t thinking of anything since the rough stroll I had before. All I ever thought was to get home as soon as possible and not to get killed frozen. So I let go the idea and went for the hot shower I deserved to have yesterday.

As the tub slowly filled with hot water, I took my time taking off my clothes. Then the mirror came to view with blurry reflection of mine produced by the steam from the tub and the cold air in winter. I wiped the dew and saw myself better now. I was too thin for a man my age. Then for a brief second my reflection sent back that eerie smile he did in my nightmare. I tried to run, but my feet failed me that I had nothing else better to do than to ask what was it all about. This time I was shouting loud that I was afraid that my neighbor would report me to the police. But thanks to his deafness, my voice was covered with the songs. Nonetheless, this thing got to end this instant. Continue reading “reflection. – part two –” →

I was walking in a blizzard when I suddenly realized that my shadow wasn’t mine. It was weird enough to realized about it when the chill went through my spine to my soul. But I was damn sure that this dark figure beneath my feet wasn’t the one that had been with me all my life. This thing didn’t belong to me. Was it because the thick snow that I began to see things differently? It was clear enough that everything was different in the winter. Everything had lost their colors.

I had been sick these past few days and the agony I had to bear was beyond compare. So I decided to go to the clinic 15 minutes walk from my place, only to found that it was closed due to the blizzard. Perfect! Now I had to walk the extra mile just to get back home where I couldn’t be sure that I would make it until the sun’s up. And if you were asking about the hospital, forget it. It is thrice the distance from my apartment to the clinic. I would freeze to death instantly if I walk there. Even this 15 minutes walk felt like a century walk. The hospital might be a millennium away from me.

I’d been living alone since I accepted the job offer in The City. I never too fond of the city life and that included those glamorous light-show that never been my thing. But the money they threw into my pocket was a bait I couldn’t possibly ignore. So there I was, thousands miles away from my family, alone, trying to survive the night, literally. Everything was so easy in the city until they all forgotten that for once humanity was depending on woods and rocks to survive. The city people tend to simplify everything and that was disease I need to avoid. Did I make a wrong turn here? Well it was too late now to turn around and I was 5 minutes walk from home. I needed a hot shower. Not to forget to confront the problem beneath my feet.

As I walked home, I looked down to my shadow and I could swear that it just smiled at me. Oh this blizzard corrupted my mind. Would a hot shower suffice to shake the random imagination? I could only wait until I got home.

***  Continue reading “reflection. – part one –” →