My white is your black. It is also the same if we flip the coin; my black is your white. Then and there, we create grey. In the grey we lost ourselves and created an infinite number of wars. Each of it drove us apart like logic shoved away god. And I begin to believe that the fights we’re giving to keep us close are futile to the enormous force of the grey. On the other hand, we both are aware that the grey is not the enemy. Where did we go wrong?

Is it because we held our colors too dearly?
Are we too arrogant to admit that the grey exists solely for us?
Why can’t we just surrender to the grey?

I recite those questions every single day until I lost my count without any of it answered. Like medicine, I do it twice a day; once I got up, and the second before I go to bed. Sadly, this medicine got me even sicker. I need you in this mess we gave birth to. I knew from the very beginning that you are my medicine. But I’ve cut myself out of reach because I am afraid of those questions. I am afraid that they would drag me to the pit of cowardice even further. It is beyond dark. I couldn’t see any white in it. Even the pit is only an idea, despair never failed to visit me whenever I look at the bottom of it. I am afraid one day there won’t be any white left in me to match up with your black. I am afraid if I got consumed by black, I would forgot my way back to you. I am afraid to lose you.

And there is this law of white and black thingy. So I am also aware that if I do nothing, I would lose you for real. By that thought, another question I haven’t figured out popped to my head; what can I do? 

It might be easy without the grey. Too bad, it is there, ready to pull us apart in every chance we deliver our colors to its feet. When you’re black, should I be black to avoid grey? You wouldn’t want that. So do i. You are gorgeous as you are. But not to forget the fact that  it would be lovely to live in the grey. Nonetheless, grey is in between. Not many could successfully live in it. I wish we could despite the fact of the infinite limbo it held. I wish one day we could see the grey as our ally. Again, what can I do?

And in the darkness of the night sky I am staring now, I addressed the question for the void in between us to answer. We are lost in our own color. I am losing you.