– Are you happy?
– Why do you ask that?
– You don’t look happy to me. That’s all.
– So I have to be able to tell you all that I am happy without uttering a word. Is that it?
– No. That’s not what I meant.
– So elaborate.
– Normal people would express their happiness. From their facial expression, their gestures, their way of talking, their choice of songs to sing, and everything else normal person would do when they are happy.
– Why so? Why can’t I keep my happiness for my own?
– Well of course you can do that. But isn’t it better if you let it all out?
– Pointless.
– Really? Why?
– Well, simply because to me, happiness is a selfish bitch that’s always keeping its eyes on us. It never rests from creating a bunch of moronic selfish bastards out of human race. On the other hand, humans pleased of what served by happiness. As we gained knowledge from daily life, the complexity of gaining happiness grows along. Remember when you were a baby, the stupidest thing you didn’t fully understand made you laugh. But as you learned this and that, happiness wouldn’t be that easy to be tamed. You need to walk the extra miles to get it. Let say your friends. Not everyone could make you happy. So you went to your friends in the search for happiness. Others went for drugs, porn, books, food, and a lot more.
– What are you saying?
– Look, happiness made us do shits selfishly. You do things for your own happiness without the slightest thought of what other’s feeling.
– I couldn’t remember precisely but I believe I did. So?
– Oh come on! You must’ve done so!
– Well if you insist, yes, I had. So what?
– No, no, no. It doesn’t work like that. I want you to give a little kick to that brain of yours to work harder. Try to remember!
– . . .
– I’ll give you time.
– . . .
– . . .
– Yes, I had done such thing. I think.
– So tell me.
– Well I was young at the time. And a friend of mine was throwing his birthday party on the weekend. I liked him. So I wanted to go. But my mom wasn’t the kind to let me go to a silly occasion. So I lied to her and asked for permission to study with my friends. She gave me and I had a good time.
– That was the perfect example!
– But I don’t get it. What was with not showing your happiness when you are happy?
– Don’t you see that happiness is a bad thing if we are consumed by it?
– . . .
– Just look at your story closer. You lied to your mother just for your personal happiness. Didn’t you think of what she would feel if she found out your lie?
– She’d be pissed I believe.
– Precisely that!
– And?
– Well, by being happy and showing it off, I would give the chance for happiness to get its filthy hands all over me. Soon enough, I would hurt someone else by my lust over it. And I hate to be owned by a bitch like that.
– I don’t get it. What’s your point?
– My point is I won’t give in this happiness bitch its happiness!

That was our conversation long time ago. You decided not to push it further and pretended that you understood. I hate that, but I couldn’t blame you. That part of you saved us from a lot of pointless arguments. After all, my mind is a different machine than all of yours. We went for a long walk together until today. We had fun together. We argued a lot about important stuff. Our kids grew beautifully. You showed me the meaning of love. I had my ultimate happiness when you were around but never get the chance to show it. I remember precisely when you finally understand what I was saying back then, as you lay without your normal smile inside your coffin. Yes, you didn’t need to smile to show me your happiness, my love. I know you were happy. You told me that so many times. I wish you could see me smile now. A real smile since you went away. A real smile that I thought I had forgotten. You might wonder why I am smiling. Darling, let me tell you that I am smiling this big because soon, I will be meeting you and never be apart again. See you soon, love.
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